Nothing super spiritual today

I have been having a very extremely rough week or two.  My depression and anxiety are becoming so unbearable.  For the most part I feel completely alone and just sit in my room thinking/crying.  One of my home teachers had caught wind of some of what's going on because of my facebook page, he asked if there was anything he could do and I just said no.  I don't like asking people to do things for me, and I didn't really know what could have been done even if I had asked.  I'm trying really hard to rely on the Lord and the scriptures but it's a serious struggle and I'm not getting far.  I spent this morning writing letters to the few missionaries I'm in contact with hoping it would help some, but it didn't really change anything.  *sigh*

Merry Christmas

So working in retail, it's really hard to keep the Christmas Spirit.  No one else feels it, all anyone cares about is getting everything they want.  Something that I now rely on to help me during my shifts is humming church hymns, primary songs, and lately of course Christmas songs.
Something I've been trying to work on lately is my attitude about others.  I am not generally a mean person, however my thoughts and my words of others when they aren't around aren't always the best.  A story about this that has always stuck with me.

A young lady named Sally, relates an experience she had in a seminary class, given by her teacher, whom we'll call Brother Smith. She says Brother Smith was known for his elaborate object lessons. One particular day, Sally walked into seminary and knew they were in for another fun day.

On the wall was a big target and on a nearby table were many darts. Brother Smith told the students to draw a picture of someone that they disliked or someone who had made them angry, and he would allow them to throw darts at the person's picture. Sally's girlfriend (on her right), drew a picture of a girl who had stolen her boyfriend. Another friend (on her left), drew a picture of his little brother. Sally drew a picture of Brother Smith, putting a great deal of detail into her drawing, even drawing pimples on his face. Sally was pleased at the overall effect she had achieved.

The class lined up and began throwing darts, with much laughter and hilarity. Some of the students threw their darts with such force that their targets were ripping apart. Sally looked forward to her turn, and was filled with disappointment when Brother Smith, because of time limits, asked the students to return to their seats. As Sally sat thinking about how angry she was because she didn't have a chance to throw any darts at her target, Brother Smith began removing the target from the wall. Underneath the target was a picture of Jesus ...

A complete hush fell over the room as each student viewed the mangled picture of Jesus; holes and jagged marks covered His face and His eyes were pierced out. Brother Smith said only these words, "In as much as ye have done it unto the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto Me." No other words were necessary; the tear-filled eyes of each student focused only on the picture of Christ. The students remained in their seats . . . even after the bell rang . . . then slowly left the classroom, tears streaming down their faces.

and of course to go along with that-  Matthew 25:40
"And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have ^adone it unto one of the ^bleast of these my ^cbrethren, ye have done it unto me."

I am really trying to be more Christlike in all that I do.  I'm not a mean person and I get along with most everyone...but when I get in bad moods or really depressed or I'm stressed or someone just really annoyed me...I don't always think the kindest things, and that is what I am trying my hardest to change.  Every time an unkind thought pops into my head I instantly try to find something nice about that person and compliment them on it right away...trying to overpower those negative thoughts about others because I know everyone is our Brother and Sister and I know just like that scripture and the story, when we do something hurtful to others, we're also doing it to the Lord.