I can't believe how ignorant I was

I used to be ignorant and judgmental.  Not in the worst kind of way and I was never mean to anybody, but I didn't always say or think the nicest things about people.  And it always frustrated me when foreign people would come through my lines at work. making things difficult.  I always wanted to scream at them the learn English.  When I came across people of different religious backgrounds, I would always smile and nod as they talked about their church but wanting to scream at them how wrong and stupid they were.  What in the world was wrong with me?!  I didn't like this about myself and so I spent a lot of time praying for Heavenly Father to soften my heart, to help me be more tolerant, and understanding, and caring; to help me want to learn more about others and their backgrounds.  Yes, I do believe that my church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is the one and only complete true church on the earth today...but that doesn't mean that other churches don't have bits and pieces of truth.  It doesn't mean that it's wrong to believe in something else.  I would love to bring everyone with me to church so they could believe in the truth, but in this day in age, it's just great to know that there are so many people who do have believes.

Because of Heavenly Father's help, my thoughts and my attitude are much different.  When I come across immigrants/foreigners, I am so much more understanding.  There are a ton of reasons why people come to this country, and being here without knowing much is probably very difficult; it probably took a lot of courage to come to this country.  And when they come through my line and can speak even a little, it shows me they're trying.  What more can I expect?  You don't see me in another country speaking another language for a reason.  When people come through my line, I am actually interested in their stories, I want to learn about everyone's religion and where everyone comes from and what brings them here.  I am so thankful that Heavenly Father has blessed me to being able to feel this way :)

I have a lot to say- too bad the people I'd like to say it to probably won't ever see this

I am so sick of being treated like dirt.  I was in a situation with a friend "Bob" that I let him take advantage of me for so long and when I finally stood up for myself I'm the one who gets treated like crap.  Are you serious?  I did this person a favor, a HUGE favor that did a lot of damage to me, including having to move back home.  I spent time being understanding and not too worried about it being taken care of right away.  I was also "understanding" while Bob put himself in certain situations and then did nothing but sit around and complain about it instead of doing something about it.  Well two years later, I decide that I'm done with hearing the excuses and I stand up for myself to get this favor taken care of.  The only thing I did was tell him how serious I was about it this time, I was not a jerk, I treated him like a human being, I still cared about him and considered him a friend...and what happens?  I am the one who gets treated like dirt.  He acts like a jerk to me, and then when things are all taken care of I get a "Have a nice life"?!?!?!?!?!  What in the world?!?!?!  I am the one who had the right and the reasons to act like a jerk.  You were the one who took advantage of me and everything I did for you.  How does this even make sense to you?  I don't get it.  Well I hope you are happy with the way you left things because don't dare try to come back asking for or expecting anything in the world, because you won't be getting it.  I hope the people around you learn what you're really like real fast because things may be fine now...but soon, your little games and tricks will be up and they will realize the real you.

Now there is "Bob #2"...I considered him a very good friend and I did a lot of things to help him.  Anything I could in any aspect of the friendship...and I was treated like dirt...the thing is, I didn't acknowledge it back then.  He'd pick on me, take advantage over the fact that I considered him a good friend and would do a lot for him, and pushed me to breakdowns...I'm not saying Bob2 was always a jerk, he actually was really great about half the time...but the rest of the time- I just didn't deserve any of it and yet I put up with it...

Let me just say, I have learned a lot about what I deserve from these (and a few other friendships)  I've learned where the limits are and where the point is that I'm being taken advantage of. I'm a good person, and I try to be a good friend...but apparently that's my biggest weakness.  Well like I said, I've learned a lot.  There is only one person left in the entire world that I actually trust, that I know will not treat me like this and that's Kylie.  She's my sister, and I truly would do anything in the world for her, and give her everything I had or everything I could to help her if she needed it...but I know that she wouldn't be taking advantage of me.  She's my best friend, my sister, and her and her amazing daughter Keira are the greatest people ever.  I don't know what I would ever do without them. :)