State Patty's Day

Probably the dumbest thing in the world.  College students make it up to have a St. Patrick's Day since most of the time March 17th falls on their spring break- like this town needs any more excuses to drink.  I think it's a tad ridiculous making up a holiday and the whole shabam- however, I applaud people this year.  Granted there was still a lot of drinking, a lot of accidents, and not a lot of change in town- HOWEVER I applaud the downtown businesses.  This weekend, many bars voluntarily closed, the ones that stayed open didn't offer drink specials and offered very few liquor drinks, and liquor stores closed by 6pm on Saturday.  Kudos.  Again, there were still a lot of problems and accidents, but there was an effort made, they took action to try to make this weekend different then the past.  It's the first step to helping this town get off it's alcohol dependency. 

My Testimony

So I wanted to take the time to share my testimony today-

I know that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is the true church.  I know that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ live.  I know that They know us and care about us and always answer our prayers.  We just have to remember it may not always be in our time line or how we want it answered, but they are always answered.  I love the church and I am so grateful for the opportunity Heavenly Father gave me to make my way back to church and to Him.  I have seen so many great blessings since I came back to church.  I know there is a Prophet on the Earth today that is in direct communication with our Heavenly Father and leads us and guides us and helps us to make the right decisions.  I know that our families can be together forever after this lifetime.  I know that Joseph Smith truly saw Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ in that magnificent vision, and I know he restored the church and translated the plates.  I have felt the Spirit answer my prayers about all of this and nothing anyone can do with make me waiver in my faith ever again

Valentines Day- HA

What a way for retailers to make money.  All of a sudden one random specific day, you are judged by whether or not you have someone to share the day with, and what you buy that person tells them how much you love them.  Seriously, this has to be a joke.  Yeah I know, Valentine's Day has all this history from thousands of years ago all with different version talking about this great stuff a St. Valentine did.  Okay well that's nice really, but what made into the holiday it is?  Why is it so important to show those you care about and how much on that one day.  Isn't this something we should be doing daily?  None of us are guaranteed a tomorrow, why wait until February 14 to make it known.  And why, WHY WHY WHY is it so important to buy all this stuff to show it?  Is simply telling them, or writing a heartfelt letter good enough?  Why do we have to go out and buy expensive jewelry and candy and flowers and take them out for dinner and if someone doesn't, they're considered a bad person.  I just think this is ridiculous, retail and our society is ruining things that should never have been ruined.  Don't give in to the 'typical' February 14 Valentine's Day.  Make every day a "Valentine's Day" and tell the people who mean the most to you how much you appreciate them, and make it count.

Don't let others influence you

For the absolute longest time I let so many affect how I thought about myself.  Most of my life I've had poor self esteem, wasn't confident, and always carried around with me every hurtful thing anyone ever said or did to me.  I cared to much about the comments and thoughts of my family, some old "so-called friends" and even strangers.  Kylie recently sent me a comment along the lines of "you're an adult, who cares what they think", and that started my kick of this new attitude which turned into a huge epiphany. 
I DO NOT CARE ANYMORE
I don't need to please anybody.  This is my life, and my decisions.  Who cares if someone around me doesn't think the schooling I'm doing is real, or judges me because of my depression and anxiety problems, who cares what anybody thinks!  I know who is really by my side and who supports or encourages me no matter what I do, and that's all that matters.  I feel great about this!  I feel relieved that I'm not gonna let others affect how I feel about myself.  I know I'm awesome.  I'm working. taking classes, getting help, doing my best with church, I have my best friend, I'm good at sudoku, I journal, I scrapbook, I AM AWESOME, I KNOW IT, AND I DONT CARE WHAT PEOPLE THINK OR SAY ANYMORE

:) :) :) :)

Forgive and Forget?

I know we're supposed to forgive everybody no matter what wrong they have done to us, and I have to say, that is something I really struggle with.  Not only forgiving others, but myself as well.  I still get guilty about things that happened so long ago, things I've already apologized for and taken care of.  My biggest struggle is forgiving others who have hurt me.  I still get so upset about things people have done or said to me, and it's partly because of some of the patterns of thinking my therapist has come across....but because of this, it causes levels of trust to be comprised.  Anyone who has hurt me, I find very difficult to trust in later years.
However, when I know that person didn't mean to hurt me, it's a little easier to move past.  For example, someone at church this past week made a comment that really hurt my feelings, and I say all through Sacrament meeting thinking about it.  But I know that he didn't mean to hurt my feelings.  I know that he's unaware some of things that effect what he commented about, and even though it bothers me still a little, I have forgiven him because I know he didn't mean it. 
I just pray that someday I am able to get to the point that I know I have fully forgiven others and myself and forget about things that no longer matter anymore.  I know it's important, I know that if we are unable to forgive others, that we are not doing what Heavenly Father has asked of us.

Thinking about the past year- My testimony

So I've been doing a lot of thinking lately.  A lot of about last year and where I was church wise, school wise, depression wise etc. 
So as some of you know, there were a few years I wasn't at church.  I hit such a low dark place and struggling a lot with my depression and anxiety that I felt like nothing could be true, that there was no way God was actually there.  As I slowly came back to church I started to realize a lot of things.  A lot of things such as just because I struggle with depression and everything, it doesn't mean that Heavenly Father isn't there.  It means that for whatever reason I'm supposed to go through this, and if Heavenly Father gave this to me, He's not going to leave me alone to handle it.  I know that I am never alone.  And now that I'm getting help me and my therapist are slowly working on my progress, and even though I still hit a lot of low points, I'm making a lot of progress and I know that is because of Heavenly Father.  I also know that when I do hit those low points, that even though it's hard to feel the Spirit of feel loved, I know I still I am. There is a much bigger plan than any of us can imagine, and I love that I know the truth.  I love that I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.  I love that I have a Heavenly Father who loves me enough to send His Son to die for me, loves me enough to always be with me, and answer my prayers.  I know that He knows each and every one of us, and if we just kneel in prayer and ask with real intent, we'll get the answers we're looking for.  Moroni 10:4-5
So much has changed this year and I couldn't be more grateful.