Sunday, July 3, 2011

AAGGHH---oh yeah, some important stuff too

There is so much on my mind lately....
So my friend Amber and I were talking the other night and I had brought up some of the things that people say to make me feel better that really just pisses me off.  Their intentions are good, but they just don't have any idea what they're saying.  Here's the thing with depression, unless you have personally gone through it, or been close with someone who has (and I mean actually being diagnosed with depression as a mental illness, not having a bad day because your bf/gf broke up with you) then it's difficult to understand, and I know that.  Here's the problem...people think that we can just "wish" ourselves happy.  "Oh just think positive" or "Fake it till you make it" and "you choose to be happy"  seriously?  Don't you think that if it was that easy that I would have done that?  Trust me, there is nothing I want more than to not feel like this.  It usually just upsets me more really.

So I'm doing okay today...and I mean okay as in I'm okay enough to be able to fake like I'm doing better.  It's just one of those blah days.  Headache, achy, stuff like that.
I've decided that today I need to think about the things that I am grateful for and take the time to give that thanks.  So here it goes---


The Gospel- Of course I have to be thankful for this.  I love this church.  I know that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is the only true church.  I am so thankful for a Heavenly Father who knows and loves me, even during the times that it is difficult for me to realize it.  I am thankful for His Son, our Savior, Jesus Christ who came to this earth to die for my sins, to die for your sins, and suffer for every pain or negative thins we experience in life.  I love the hymn "I Stand All Amazed"  the end of the hymn goes "Oh it is wonderful, that He should care for me, enough to die me.  Oh it is wonderful, wonderful to me"  How true is this statement?  How can anyone argue that we are not loved?  Look at what has been done for us.  I am also thankful for the Prophet Joseph Smith who followed the commandments and followed the Lord to restore the gospel to the earth, and for everything that he went through for the church.  If Joseph was willing to go through so much to restore this church, including losing his life, how can you say it isn't true?  If it wasn't true, he would not have willingly gone through all of that.  I am grateful that we have a prophet on the earth today to lead and guide us and receive revelation from God.  And I am thankful for the Missionaries and missionary work.  How amazing is it to take the truth I know and be able to teach others around me to know of that same truth and happiness. 

I am thankful for my best friend and her daughter who mean the entire world to me

I am thankful for my friend Doug.  When I met him right before high school he became one of my best friends and like my big brother.  He was there for me through a lot of stuff and really helped me with stuff.  I knew he was someone that if I ever needed anything he was going to be there.  We've had some rough spots in our friendship and haven't always been on talking terms, but we still have a friendship, and he is still my best friend and I know if I needed something, he will be there for me.

My friends in the branch---
---Andrea- My visiting teacher ever since I came back to church.  She is absolutely amazing!  She is such an example to me and she's always there to listen to me complain or vent anytime I need too or to just be around to hang out and talk girl talk.
---Amber- Again, what an amazing example.  This girl is too awesome for words.  Probably one of the most caring people I've ever met and I am so thankful to know her and have her in my life.
---Fillerup- He's someone who really cares and an awesome person to go to when you need a laugh
---Jennavier- just an awesome person!  She's so sweet and caring and one of those people that just gets along with anyone and everyone
---Justin- It's only been in the past few months that I've really gotten to know him, but I'm so glad I do.  He's someone that I know I could tell anything too.  He's very kind a very caring person.  He's an awesome friend and I would do anything in the world for him.  He can make me laugh and just forget about everything going on---again, it's only been in the last several months that I've really gotten to be friends with him, but I already consider him a very close friend and so glad to have him as a friend.

There's a lot more that I'm grateful for but I'm tired and I'll write more about it later.