So I realized it's been awhile since I've posted a Spiritual thought, and I've been preparing to give a talk on Friday for Jamie's baptism so I thought its about time to post one.
So in getting ready for Jamie's baptism I've been thinking a lot about my own testimony and my own "conversion" story. I grew up in the church (for those of you who don't know, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.) Sometime around my sophomore year of high school I became inactive. I stopped believing in everything and let my testimony fall. I stopped going to church and started making decision I really shouldn't have been making. Granted, I could have been out there making much worse decisions, but regardless, they weren't the best. There were a lot of factors that went into all this that I don't want to talk about, but it was a big complicated mess. After several years and a few failed attempts of going back, I finally made it back. I have a lot of issues going on that to be honest make things pretty difficult sometimes. I always have that testimony but sometimes it's hard to "feel" it? If that makes any sense. Like deep down inside I know everything---like about how much my Heavenly Father loves me, and how I'm never alone, and there's a purpose behind my trials etc etc etc---but when I hit certain points, sometimes my vision is clouded. However, I wouldn't be here at this point at all if it weren't for all the awesome amazing people at the branch who took me in and supported me when I started coming back to church. A year ago, I was still swearing, making choices I shouldn't have been, and not doing anything related to church. Now, I have 2 callings, I'm serving on the committee for the Barn Dance, I go out with the missionaries, I've changed my behaviors, I'm getting help with the things I need help with...it's been an amazing year.
I try to take the time to tell the people I care about thank you, and looking back on all of this, there's quite a few people who have been amazing too me
1. My original Visiting Teachers- Andrea and Shandee---they have both been amazing to me. So supportive, caring, and a great example.
2. Amber- ever since I met her I knew what an amazing person she was. Seriously, I can't even begin to describe it
3. Eric (original home teacher) and Justin- I think between the two of them, they somehow deal with all of my crazy. They are amazing friends and have been for me so much lately...I don't know how they put up with me (seriously)
So thinking about all that has changed and all the decisions and changes Jamie has been making it makes me so grateful for this church. Despite having my vision clouded sometimes, or losing the knowledge for a short period of time, I know that this church is the only 100% true church on the earth. I know that the Savior died for us, not only for our sins, but also our trials, our struggles, our loneliness, etc etc. He is the one who will always know what I'm going through. I know that we receive answers to our prayers, even if they aren't in the way or time frame we'd like them too. I know Joseph Smith was called as a prophet of God to restore this gospel. And I know that even though it doesn't feel like it, there is a purpose in our trials and our life and that we wouldn't be here otherwise. Thank you to everyone who has been there for me. I can't tell you what it means to me.
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